There must be a line at the U.S. Capitol building snaking out the door, and around the corner, of folks waiting to see Congress seeking a bailout for their business or sector. Kinda like the kids at the mall waiting in line to see Santa -similarly armed with wish lists of, to them, free stuff. If Time magazine did a Word of the Year issue {see last post} this year's cover word would have to be BAILOUT. The cynic in me makes me suspicious of just how ill these various industries and companies are. Is this like a kid who wants to stay home from school so develops a belly ache, a woeful tone describing it, and a profound recovery about 10 a.m.? "Cooking the books" used to mean creating phony prosperity so as to attract investors or lenders. But now it's more advantageous to appear in dire financial straits-at least as long as Uncles Sam (and Barney and Hank) are passing out billions like Al Bundy on the intro of Married with Children.
I have lost track of all the bailout packages created in the last few months, and the dollars assigned to some deals seem to have changed, both in amount and intended usage. But here are some reminder numbers: AIG-$85 billion (plus a piece of the big enchilada that will take their stocking stuffer to about $120 bill.) Freddie and Fannie required about $100 billion EACH to regain solvency. (That's a rounded number, of course, but what's a few hundred mill between friends). It's too bad some strong willed elected official didn't attach a stipulation to the Freddie/Fannie bailout that they change their names! It's just wrong that these open sewers of irresponsible lending and stewardship of others' money should be allowed to continue with nicknames that make them sound like an eccentric aunt and uncle that have fallen on hard times. (Poor Aunt Fannie and Uncle Freddie-they're eating dogfood again. Let's help them a little.) That big enchilada, the big one that disrupted the campaigns, the one to buy "toxic assets" was 750 large. (if you say it with no alarm in your voice it seems so normal-so nice). After the late night emergency Senate session that produced the deal to fund Hank's unclogging of credit markets by ridding them of those toxic assets, which he pleaded with Congress was the way to keep our nation from washing out to sea, he said "Nevermind...we changed our mind..." He kept the 750, of course, but no longer has an appetite for toxicity. Now it's his (Treasury's) credit card with a $750,000,000,000 cash advance limit. There was also, of course, Bear Stearns. There will be something under the tree for automakers-the rejected deal, today was what, $34 billion? Among those in line to see Santa are the newspapers. I'm sure there are other "smokestacks" watching the auto industry's groveling. Someone, somewhere still makes buggy whips and I'd bet they could use a hand. Obsolescence is...obsolete. The total appears, so far, to be about a nice round trillion, give or take 100 billion. But it's OK. Just say it with no alarm in your voice.
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